just YOU and ME*

Thursday, December 21, 2006
12/21/2006 12:30:00 PM

e rain is making my eye sore! okok. well now i feel damn bad. i kinda hurt 2 ppl these couple of days. remourseful? yes. my mistakes. im paying for it. i look at other people,those who are in a worser position as compared to me,they are making most of the simplest thing in life. but it struck me when i was buying sth that day at queensway den i go for e brand not for comfort.ok.this simply means i go for e exterior. and this is horrible. i look at my sisters and they simply look content with their picks.well, i have been reaching out to her. but why am i the onli 1 making e moves?if i lose her as a friend,i would be destroyed.she is simply one of many bestest friends that i have and its lik what the hell am i doing wrong?thank god school is starting soon. i have other things to think about.

so now. my problem is. why the hell am i shallow?sth i should just think abt. e result of my shalowness in turns hurt the people whom i used to care about most.well.whats wrong with me? the past haunts me. i wont ever get over the past.hence,im not willing to open up.but after all e events that occured in my life, im so afraid to lose someone.so i dont like getting to close to a person cos if something happens,i would sink into major depression.as im typing this entry, im thinking about every significant person in my life i have a representation of these poeple in e form of pictures and other stuff around my room.it is to remind me that im not going through this thing u call LIFE alone.1 after 1 after 1 . i simply have no faith already.3 perfect couples split.who wouldnt lose faith anymore?im not ready!hahaha.well.people gotta understand sth.so yah. me and my friends often look at good looking guys. but at e end of e day.we dont have feelings for any of these ppl.its just a phase u go through.i lost faith in loving someone.so i nid someone who can convince me that i am still able to feel that again.

well! on a happier note. i talking to eddy! AND I STOLE HIS INVERTED LOVE! haha. im competing with matt is swimming soon but since we cant settle on one common stroke im not challenging him.wad if he does butterfly?! den im screwed rite.plus he trained everyday in U.S!while im here doing wad i do.and fareed to badminton.wads with guys and their competitiveness! haha. well fareed is still making me laugh lik shit every single day! well done. speaking of him i gotta change. i gotta go to sajc and cjc now! whee! btw. im posted to Anderson Junior College. to my future schoolmates =) HELLO! and see u on 3 january at 8 am! =))

to that friend who has something special todae! HAVE FUN I HOPE ALL GOES WELL. so we can get f**i** ! i cant believe he msged u on friendster! haha lucky arse! hahah. but im dont dig ppl who walk cross-legged!! hahaha !! thanks arif for e head's up. cos of that remark rite. i totally change my opinion of him! hahaha. phew! he not sissy lah! hhahaa. he is just abit. err girlish? haha. okae okae.

together forever*

Tuesday, December 05, 2006
12/05/2006 09:17:00 PM

so todae i went to town. cos sis needed get a new phone. so e rest of us ventured about centrepoint bought stuff from mango haha. wanted to get levis or gap. but it was raining cats and dogs so we had to rush. so tml im going to get it! haha. im dying for a new pair of jeans! so its lik went to have dinner and headed home. heard so many stories abt my cousin and my aunty and i found out how difficult their lives are.so it got me thinking that i think im too fortunate.besides having a roof over my head i get everything i wan.my allowance is too much.but somehow im not happy.on a happier note, im looking forward for a ride on cable car! haha. think e last time i took it was lik when i was 5?it has been more than 10 years man! haha.

so i cleaned my room. omg. its soo clean. my room is so lik a studio i tell u. i have spotlights beaming over every painting in my room. and yes i have paintings and potraits on my wall. e paintings are beautiful. and e potraits are of me and my friends.i love it.ooh and im started to understand why anyone who jumps on my bed refuse to get up.its damn comfortable. that explains why there isnt any mornings anymore in my life!ohh. and im starting on sth new.as most of u noe. i have a super large collection of neoprints and photos. its in a safe keep. but i thought maybe i could make a collage of all of it.BEAUTIFUL! haha. well i hope it turns out that way at least.

and i cant wait to go out with my class girls. i miss damn so much. its lik i can just pour my feelings out so easily .esp VON! haha. i mean its lik i could sit down with her and tell her ANYTHING! im gonna miss her obsession with spongebob. von , gotta break it to you, its jus a sponge! haha. which has holes and has square undies. hmm i think i should go topshop tml as well. haha. zara again obviously.oh and finally fareed is coming back! i can have laughter in my laugh again. i think since he came along, my life got more interesting! haha. he nv fails to brighten up my day and its lik he is funny unintentionally.and i think i dont mind staying at home just playing music with e air con on and just lie down and read my new book!

and zul is being a perv.we're talking abt my arse while i fight it out with nurul's bro. and im just wondering. why am i drifing from my sec sch friends now? haha. good thing? haha i donno. well we just see how things go yah. and iM SO PISSED WITH YOU! YOU MAKE NO EFFORT AT ALL THAT I'LL MAKE SURE I DONT HAVE TO SEE YOU ANYMORE!

together forever*

Monday, December 04, 2006
12/04/2006 03:44:00 PM

As of todae, i have no idea what college i would be going to for e next 3 months yet!if anyone of u r wondering why im blogging again its cos i think im having a problem conveying my problems even to my friends right now so i thought i may as well post it out to the world rite?haha.i mean my blog wouldnt be a mass display of my problems but jus more of a non-personal diary.first of all let me sae. HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN my DEAR.. hopefully that person reads in but highly doubt it.

well im being reprimanded to clean my room but as usual im being stubborn.i was suppose to do it lik a month ago?oh well. been busy going out and stuff. off grounding.so yst.i left at lik 7.30 pm to go to esplanade to meet e girls.but they were late and came onli at 9pm so was on e phone throughout that time just to pass time.i hate going out on sundays.im officially not a secondary student anymore.does it feel good? yes. haha.

no doubt gonna miss e girls especially and my classmates and NCC FAMILY! ncc family was always there when u needed them.those 3 guys are actualli e onli 3 guys who i have no problems talking to at all maybe cos its lik im so comfortable with them already.and e girls.4 years together!well not exactly same class but hell we made it babes!im missing my prefectorial board.and 1 particular sec 1 person.haha.ohh and fareed promised to get me a xmas present so im holding him to his words.and i haven been talking to lik irfan arif n nurul for e longest time in a conference! guess we're all busy doing our own stuff yea?besides i dont even noe if any of us would be in the same school since our choices are kinda varied.i dont like vivo city. haha. okae. its cool that all e shops like zara,mango and fox are all opposite each other .more lik 3 m away. but its like its so out of e way.unlike town you can just venture wherever u wanna go. AND I MISS EDDY! haha. lucky that time i went online when he was dere. i wont forget the day he left man.not everyday i cry in front of ppl man.well family fren from a suburb of melbourne are coming on e 11th.haha.

1 place i haven gone to but have every intention of going to is sentosa.but its lik all e girls are going away at different timing!oh and i have new year's eve plans already.its cool when no guys come in e way of ur plans u noe.haha.pretty cool that most of us are single which is a good thing.i dont think that status is gonna last for long though considering we're all meeting new people soon. at least there would be more things to talk about.not that im against relationships but err. haha.im happy with where i am now.i think?yes. im sure. i got everything i need. family. friends. I DONT NEED A MAN! quote pussycat dolls.haha.did i tell anyone i love cassie??!! its such an irony that when im leaving secondary school that im getting closer to my priimary school friends! i mean its cool.so. did i mention about prom?it was absoulutely mind-blowing.okae too exaggerating.but heyy it was realli crazyy.i love the stay in meritus mandarin.man. i love the toilet but i dont get the need for two toilet bowls in a toilet though??hmm. well 7 of us squeezed in a room. 3 on each bed. lanyi slept on e chair.we woke up at like 11 am? did what we have to do ate lunch and headed back.1 teacher im gonna miss? mdm jay.man she pampers me lik hell especially during the thailand trip.and i lovee fishing compliments from her.and it works all e time.ohh and each time she compliments me, someone from e ncc family will stop her!!haha.eg XQ!im gonna miss PY! she sat with me in sec 3.we were seperated from our cliques so we onli had each other in the foreign class.we adapted.had fun sitting behind. our studies flopped and went downhill like hell in sec 3.then we got closer to carline they all.haha.they changed my perspective of 4e2.it wasnt as boring as i thought. i was actualli enjoying it.i mean we could go for dinner but end up gossiping like shit.i think we sat there for lik 2 hours?lost track of time.

okae. serious business. if anyone noticed, my nick previously was.
'i finally figured things out' then it was
'torn between two' and finally
'and then there was one'

okae i was going through a phase.haha.in a minute.someone could change my view about how i felt.jus like that.then i realized.why is it that everytime i was swayed to someone else,THAT person always came and just make me take a 180 degress toll.JUST LIKE THAT!then 2 ppl told me i would nv be happy till i give THAT person a thought.then i was thinking. it was true.but i got 1 month before college.let me jus enjoy so should i just ignore the other guy?was it fair? no its not. but life's a bitch. haha so yishu told me once. haha. and i agree. looks lik all of us are lik having problems rite now.honestly im worried bout u yishu!pull urself together fast!and im not open to changes.so im not gonna be out of that whole 'me and you forever' scene. cos its all crap! okae i dont mean it that way but its just..im not prepared. and i wont jus go with any person rite? time ! time ! time ! i got it. and it wont slip away just yet =)

anyway i switched on e computer to listen to e music while cleaning my room instead im blogging. man. i haven lost touch of blogging yet man. it has been lik wad ? 2 years? last time i blog some people were reading my posts and taking it as gospel truth and it kinda affected how i felt. so hopefully history wouldnt repeat itself.

to that someone,im sorry if i hurt you in any way but im not ready. im just not. and will never be.

together forever*